Showing posts with label affair. Show all posts
Showing posts with label affair. Show all posts

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Why You Should Avoid This Emotional Love Affair

You thought you were the last person they would find if they went looking for an emotional person. You are now confused since you met this person who tapped your feelings and now you are all emotional. Which route should you take when it turns to be an emotional love affair? Everything you do turns out to be contrary to your expectations. Emotional love affairs turn out to be very hurting. It takes long to collect the pieces and move on after the break up. Every issue in an emotional love affair ends up in a mess. Keep your emotions checked since they are the same ones which brought you together. Love emotions can confuse human mind and beats all intellect. Be wise when dealing with your emotions.

Emotional love affairs crash down since intense feelings associated with them impair the level of thinking. A previously fulfilling affair takes a turn and becomes frustrating and saddening. Most emotional love affairs use the tit for tat phenomenon. An eye for an eye makes the whole love affair unhealthy. It looses direction and focuses on revenge. What do you think will happen when i feel so hurt that my partner has failed to call me. I might be dying to hear him talk but i do not care about what, even if it is nonsense but just his voice. I will not call him though it will be hurting. Imagine if he also gets emotional and reacts the same way. The affair will simply be a game of shifting blames and on the way to the rocks. To avoid an emotional love affair would be the best option, try and understand him.

I think i do not care if you love me so much that it makes you cry all the time. The problem comes in when you hurt me by the little things you do and it makes me cry. It is not worth if i hate how much i love you. It will stop being a love affair and turn to a war affair. An emotional love affair pushes each partner to fight with their feelings. The more you fight with yourself and reject your intense feelings the more it hits back at you. You will try and fail miserably most of the times. If you get lucky enough not to reach exhaustion, you will succeed in separating with your partner because logic dictates that such an emotional love affair is harmful to your social life. At the end of it you will have scars in your heart which you might take to the grave. To avoid this, do not encourage an emotional love affair at all costs.

An emotional love affair sabotages communication. When you are too emotional, language tends to hit the wall and expression takes a back seat. Without communication, misunderstanding is unavoidable. Please if you notice your partner is going down that route, talk about it. It is in a word. You will never guess it unless you keep talking. Be slow to anger and an emotional love affair will be news to you.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Restoring Trust in Relationships After an Affair

Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. But I disagree. I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it. This article is about restoring trust in relationships.

Fog and FireImage by ecstaticist via Flickr


Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.

But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.

The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.