PULL It Together

Those who want help save marriage from ending in divorce need to PULL it together. It is a hard thing to watch a marriage that was once so precious and important fall apart. Its heart breaking to sit by as the two of you start going your separate ways. If you dont want that to happen then do something about it. Pull it together to help save marriage.


Chill out

Take a moment to catch your breath and step back from the situation. Not necessarily take

Image by ARamøs via Flickr

a break from it but to just calm down. It is easy for things to get over-heated. Take a moment to catch your breath and give it a moment to cool off. When you were young you were probably told to count to 10 when you got angry so that you could give yourself a chance to get yourself under control.

The same principle applies here. Before you do anything else, take a breath. The next time something is said to you that makes you mad, calm down, get a hold of yourself and then let go of your anger. Only then can you truly learn how to communicate and take the next step to help save marriage.

Understand what is happening

While you are “chilling out” and taking a moment to breathe, take a look at what is happening. This is where you try and look at the big picture and then look at things from other perspectives. From where you are standing at the moment things may look pretty bad. Try to look at it from other perspectives and it might not be as bad as you thought.

Try looking at it from an outsiders perspective and from the one you love. From those other perspectives you might find out why things have been getting out of control. There may be a relatively simple solution to help save marriage.

Laugh at yourselves

This doesnt mean to make light of the situation but it does mean dont take yourselves so seriously. It is easy to make mountains out of mole hills. Things snowball out of control but when you are able to see what it was that actually made the snowball you may end up laughing at it.

It can be hilarious to find out how a minuscule thing can turn into something so huge when it didnt have to. It can be hilarious if you are willing to let it be. Many times when people go through a rough time they will say, “Sometime we are going to look back at this and laugh!” Why wait?

Look for ways to improve

Once you have had a chance to step back and catch your breath and then been able to get some perspective on the situation, you can move on. When you have realized that at its root, this situation or problems that you have been struggling with is really small and manageable you can get things on track.

The next thing that you need to do is commit yourself to finding a way to improve. If you are responsible for the little things that get blown out of proportion, then try stopping it. If you have learned that you overreact, then stop it. Improve the way you handle situations and everything else may just fall into place to help save marriage.

To help save marriage, PULL together and bring back what belongs together...the two of you.

Continue

Get Your Partner To Agree To Relationship Counseling

Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce. But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor. Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road. Early counseling can even something prevent a future divorce.

Today’s couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.




If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to as your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way. If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea. Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.

If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably. Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse. Don’t accuse the other person of need counseling. Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so. Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades. It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems. And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling. But that’s not true. But facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.

If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn’t true. Just because you’re willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.

If your partner refuses, go on your own. While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.

Continue

Overcoming Your Relationship Breakup STOP Dont Go!

It’s over. Your loved one is saying that they’re going to leave. They’re packing up their stuff and are ready to move to a new place. How do you stop the breakup from happening?

How do you get things back to the way they were? How do you get your loved one to unpack their bags at home instead of somewhere else? There are a lot of ways to deal with such a situation — a lot of things you should, and shouldn’t, do.

1) The “Shouldn’ts”

Women tend to beg when their loved one is on the verge of leaving. I can remember, in minute detail (unfortunately), the way I begged my ex to not leave our apartment. I literally got down on my knees and grabbed him to stop him from leaving.

Did you notice I said “ex”? The first time I did this, it did work and he didn’t leave. We talked through our differences and were able to stay together for another couple of months. Then, once again, he prepared to leave. I pulled my stunt and guess what? He left anyway.

Our relationship was officially over. Your first instinct as a woman may be to beg and plead, but it just belittles you and generally doesn’t work on your loved one.

Don’t try to make your loved one jealous. Some people go out and make new “friends” in an effort to make their significant other jealous enough to not leave. Most of the time, this doesn’t work, either. Instead of making the spouse jealous, it may give them the final push they need to leave for good. A slight bit of jealousy can give a relationship a spark, but not if it’s already on a downswing.

2) The “Shoulds”

The first thing you should do is step back, breathe, and give your loved one some room. If they feel hemmed in, they’re not going to want to stay with you. Remember the old saying “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar?”

In giving them what they want, you are respecting their time and are giving yourself time to cool down, as well. In the heat of the argument, things are often said aren’t meant by either party. Time alone gives you the chance to breathe and to move onto the next step.

Step two involves figuring out what’s really going on in the relationship. Why does your loved one want to break up? Have you been fighting recently? Are all the fights about the same thing, or are they about random things?

If all the fights are about the same thing, then you already know what you have to work on. If they are about random things, there is probably some underlying argument simmering below the surface that hasn’t been discussed. Work on trying to figure out what that is.

Approach your loved one and calmly ask them what their biggest problem with the relationship is. Sometimes their answer will give you the direction that you should move in next.

3) Ch-ch-ch-changes

Everybody changes; it’s a fact of life! Who you are when you’re a senior in high school is not who you’ll be when you’re 30. Who you are now may not be who you are in a few months.

This is often why relationships start to fall apart: you feel as though you don’t know the person you’re with anymore. Make some time to get to know each other again! Spend time together doing simple things: walking, talking, sitting in the park feeding the birds.

Do things together that require that you are both alone together. You could go to a movie, but you really can’t talk well there. The best thing to do is to find something you can do that allows you to communicate with each other.

Open yourself up to your partner. Sometimes we focus so much on what we want that we neglect to think of how our partner is feeling. Often, if you try to see things through their point of view, you will find that you are much more empathetic to their feelings. You can see their side of the argument, and if you can do that, then you can fix it.

Strong relationships are fixable, and it’s always better to try to stop a breakup before it happens than to try to fix it after it’s been broken. After all, you can always fix a crack in a vase, but it’s a lot more difficult to find all of the pieces once it’s broken.



"The Complete Retrieve A Lover Package" Can Help You Bring More Love, Understanding and Passion Into Your Relationship and Personal Live Today. Discover How You Can Save Your Relationship and Stop Your Break-ups today Without All The Fear And Heartache! Read ALL the RAVE REVIEWS!

Continue