Showing posts with label too. Show all posts
Showing posts with label too. Show all posts

Monday, May 23, 2016

What Unconditional Love Really Means

While talking about unconditional love, one might think of a relationship between a mother and her child. That is a love without contingencies. In fact, by its very nature true love is unconditional. Love is patient and kind. It doesnt anger easily and keeps no record of wrongs. A mothers love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. It is not selfish or jealous. Unfortunately many people believe that a mothers love is the only unconditional love we can find on this planet. But let me tell you that I have experienced it with people other than my mother and once you have youll never settle for anything less.

Too many people confuse love with duty and have difficulties differentiating between them. They base their love for another person on how that person makes them feel. If the person stops making them feel good, or stops doing the things that make them feel good they stop loving the person and may even begin to recent or hate that person. Imagine a mother who stops loving her child because the child wont do chores. That would be a conditional love. She would be saying I love you as long as you keep your room clean, if you dont Ill stop loving you and maybe even hate you. This may sound silly but what chores or expectations do we place on our spouses or do they place on us? If not completed faithfully, is the love in the relationship questioned? What about the example of "Ill only love you as long as you love me back". Why would I stop loving you just because you dont love me? Isnt that selfish? To be clear, unconditional love is not comprised of any duties or contingent on what one person does for another.

Love is universal. It is not bounded to culture or region; it has a culture in itself. Loving someone is a gamble, people change in what seems like the blink of an eye. But real love is reflected from your steadfastness is the changing times. This is what makes love unconditional. In love you do not have to demand anything from your partner. Devotion is the only meaning of unconditional love.

Sometimes you may feel your partner is ignoring you for no reason, it really hurts but you have to bear it wholeheartedly. Maybe your lover is having some problems they dont want to share out of fear that you might get upset by hearing about them. This usually creates misunderstanding which can ruin the relationship from the roots. In such circumstances, the intensity of pure and unconditional love is tested. If you truly love your partner unconditionally it will be easier to stay firm. Youll be willing to take the time to seek out relationship advice from friends and websites like RelationshipAdvice911.com which let you ask questions and get other peoples opinions privately.

Some people get upset and lose hope on issues like love, relationships, dating and romance. They think they are simply unlucky in love if their love life is not going the way they want. What I feel about this is that ultimately finding unconditional love depends on how much you give. An unconditional love does not need to find its true lover rather, pure love makes its way on its own and unless you are paying attention you may not even recognize it when it comes your way.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

How Do You Know When ItS Too Late To Get Your Ex Back

How Do You Know When ItS Too Late To Get Your Ex Back.

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Certainly, if things ended up running smoothly, shed have believed the (truthful) explanation. A colleague getting overenthusiastic when wed just won a big advertising pitch. It absolutely was hugs and kisses over-all, I do believe I even kissed my boss, and hes the dad of four and built being a quarterback.

But things hadnt been running nicely. Wed moved in together, and frankly we had been driving the other person mad.I love her like crazy, but I just wasnt used to accounting for my actions, minute by minute. That girl loves to text. Every second of the day, where am I, what am I doing, what did I have for lunch, do you need steak for lunch - the continual texts helped me feel like a prisoner under observation.

But following the fight, I missed them. I missed the almost continuous low "ting" that heralded some text coming in. I missed my phone come to that, and had to go customize the one. Fortunately, my plan I want to have my old number.

No texts. Not merely one. So, I decided to reverse roles. I sent her texts, night and day. "I miss waking up with you." "I heard our song just now and it made me cry." "Are you lonesome tonight?" "My love is like a red, red rose." Every cliche, every romantic memory, every song, every poem,every thing which had meant something to us, I texted it to her.

Rather than in text language. No - I used fully spelled out, beautifully punctuated English.

Finally, one day, my phone went "ting". And it was her. "Yes, I do miss you." I texted her straight back, "Im so sorry we fought, I was an idiot." Back she came. "I believe you about the lipstick."

This just became a lot of, I dialed her number, and we talked, and then that wasnt enough, so I literally ran to our old place, and she was waiting for me.....

She still texts a lot, but not as much as before. We had a good old fashioned face to face conversation, and I told her how I didnt want to feel she was spying on me. We made an agreement to talk more and text less. 4 me its going gr8.

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Monday, April 4, 2016

Is Too Much Honesty Hurting Your Relationship

As much as we value honesty in all relationships, there are times when too much honesty can cause its own set of problems. Now Im not advocating deliberately withholding information in your relationship, but depending on the timing and circumstance there are times when "complete" honesty is overrated. Of course one persons version of how much honesty they need in their relationship does not always match up with their partners honesty requirements, but there are still certain guidelines that can help you decide what information needs to be revealed and when it needs to be revealed.

Too Much, Too Soon- Most people have things about themselves that are very personal that are difficult to share with others. These are the kind of topics that need to be shared slowly as your relationship progresses from casual to serious. During the "getting to know you stage" these things should never be shared because they are likely to overwhelm the person that is trying to get to know the basics about you and you will feel embarrassed about revealing these things if this revelation does drive the other person away. For example, if you were abused in your past, this is important for your partner to know as your relationship becomes serious. Even though its an important part of your life, it is not something that a person that you are recently dating needs to know. You need to get past learning whether you have similar personalities and likes and dislikes before you delve into the big issues.

Think before you spew your opinion- Everyone has an opinion, but sometimes expressing them is potentially hurtful. For example, if you point out that hes wearing his ratty old shirt again or that he loaded the dishwasher incorrectly, or he points out that he liked your hair better before you got it cut, then you probably didnt ask yourself what the effect of saying this would be. If the opinion that you are about to express is not one that will be received with happiness by your partner, then you should keep it to yourself until you find a way of expressing it that does not sound like criticism. Thinking before you spew out a negative opinion will save you numerous arguments, because most times when we blurt out an opinion that is really a criticism we are met with a criticism in return, and an argument is not far behind.

Dont Ask and Your Partner Wont Have to Tell- There are certain "loaded questions" that you should never ask in your relationship unless you are a glutton for punishment. Questions that fall into this category are ones like: "Am I prettier than your ex-girlfriend?" "Do you love me more than you loved him?" and the infamous "Does this make me look fat?" All these questions have only one "right answer" and even then, your partner will need to carefully craft an answer to avoid saying the wrong thing. Unless you are trying to deliberately assess your partners ability to tap dance around delicate issues, no good can come from asking these questions.

So yes, honesty is vital to any relationship, but so is knowing when to keep quiet. Knowing the proper timing to reveal sensitive information about yourself and making sure that your "honesty" is not just criticism are two important considerations before you proceed with what you are about to share. And of course, sometimes the best way to avoid the topics that are irrelevant and potentially hurtful to your relationship is to be proactive by not asking any of the questions that you dont really want answered.

Tina Tobin is a writer, blogger and creator of the womens relationship advice site LuvEmOrLeavem.com where all advice is centered around the question "Should she love him or leave him?"