What Unconditional Love Really Means

While talking about unconditional love, one might think of a relationship between a mother and her child. That is a love without contingencies. In fact, by its very nature true love is unconditional. Love is patient and kind. It doesnt anger easily and keeps no record of wrongs. A mothers love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. It is not selfish or jealous. Unfortunately many people believe that a mothers love is the only unconditional love we can find on this planet. But let me tell you that I have experienced it with people other than my mother and once you have youll never settle for anything less.

Too many people confuse love with duty and have difficulties differentiating between them. They base their love for another person on how that person makes them feel. If the person stops making them feel good, or stops doing the things that make them feel good they stop loving the person and may even begin to recent or hate that person. Imagine a mother who stops loving her child because the child wont do chores. That would be a conditional love. She would be saying I love you as long as you keep your room clean, if you dont Ill stop loving you and maybe even hate you. This may sound silly but what chores or expectations do we place on our spouses or do they place on us? If not completed faithfully, is the love in the relationship questioned? What about the example of "Ill only love you as long as you love me back". Why would I stop loving you just because you dont love me? Isnt that selfish? To be clear, unconditional love is not comprised of any duties or contingent on what one person does for another.

Love is universal. It is not bounded to culture or region; it has a culture in itself. Loving someone is a gamble, people change in what seems like the blink of an eye. But real love is reflected from your steadfastness is the changing times. This is what makes love unconditional. In love you do not have to demand anything from your partner. Devotion is the only meaning of unconditional love.

Sometimes you may feel your partner is ignoring you for no reason, it really hurts but you have to bear it wholeheartedly. Maybe your lover is having some problems they dont want to share out of fear that you might get upset by hearing about them. This usually creates misunderstanding which can ruin the relationship from the roots. In such circumstances, the intensity of pure and unconditional love is tested. If you truly love your partner unconditionally it will be easier to stay firm. Youll be willing to take the time to seek out relationship advice from friends and websites like RelationshipAdvice911.com which let you ask questions and get other peoples opinions privately.

Some people get upset and lose hope on issues like love, relationships, dating and romance. They think they are simply unlucky in love if their love life is not going the way they want. What I feel about this is that ultimately finding unconditional love depends on how much you give. An unconditional love does not need to find its true lover rather, pure love makes its way on its own and unless you are paying attention you may not even recognize it when it comes your way.

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Dont Let Anyone Make You Feel Guilty

Have you heard statements like "If you love me, you would do this for me." "You should be ashamed of yourself." Or "You hurt my feelings?" Statements like these are used by people to manipulate you into feeling guilty because you did a mistake, disappointed someone, or if some one wants a favor of you.

Dont let someone make you feel guilty. Guilt is a destructive emotion that you waste your time with it if you dont learn how to eliminate guilt for ever. To overcome and eliminate guilt from your life, do the following steps:

1. Know that the past cant be changed. Whatever happened or you have done in the past, you cant undo it or change it by feeling guilty. If you cry, weep, shout mornings and nights, you will not make the past different. It is better to concentrate on the present time and do something useful to enhance and improve your life and your future.

2. Try to learn from your experiences. If you hurt someone while not meaning it, apologize for what you have said or done and then forgive yourself. Learn from what happened in the past, so you wont repeat it again, but it is important to forgive yourself.

3. Let the people you deal with know that you cant be manipulated by what they say and cant make you feel guilty. If your boss gives you a hard time because you didnt work over time and start saying that there is no bonus for you to make you feel guilty, then you can say things like "that is perfectly fine. I will get the bonus next time." Once people see that you are confident of yourself and cant get manipulated by them into feeling guilty, they will know you are in control of your emotions.

To overcome guilt, you have to confront it. Dont deny guilt or run away from it. Analyze it and make amends with it. No matter how much time you spend feeling guilty, you are not going to be able to change it because it has already happened. You can learn from the past, but you cant change it.

Instead of feeling guilty over something that cant be changed, why dont you follow the above steps and then start concentrating on your goals?

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Unconditional Love and Romantic Love Do Not Mix

Every time someone speaks of unconditional love in the same context with romantic love, it raises the hairs of my neck. These two do not and should not mix. Romantic love is always, and should always be conditional. Unconditional love is reserved for ones children only - even the children cannot and should not love their parents unconditionally, even though the parents hope they would.

Lets back up a bit. Unconditional love is not superior to conditional love, far from it! Conditional love definitely feels better to the person receiving it, because they earned it. From the recipients point of view, unconditional love is cheap. Since it comes to you unconditionally, you dont have to earn it, and what you dont have to earn is cheap. When romantic love is confused with unconditional love, what it means is that since there are no conditions, your lover can just pick up and transfer their unconditional love to anyone else - because there are no conditions. In romantic love, that should never be the case.

The essence of unconditional love is: "No matter what you say, do, think or are I will always love you. You cannot sway my love from you, and it will be forever." Beautiful, isnt it? However, this kind of statement should never be made to anyone but to your own children. Your children cant say that back to you, because there are tons of conditions for their love for you, and there should be, starting from physical or sexual abuse: "If you abuse me, I will not love you." The same goes with romantic love, both ways. "If you cheat on me, I will no longer love you." Or "If you beat me up, I will stop loving you and start fearing you." To even get to the position of lovers, there are countless of conditions to pass: "I will love you if I find you sexually attractive." "I will love you if you laugh at my jokes." You get the basic idea. When romantic love turns unconditional, it is half way to an abusive relationship. "I no longer care if you talk to me without respect, if you hit me every time you see me or cheat on me; I will still remain strong in my love for you. You can treat me as badly as you can, and my love wont sway from you."

Romantic love, even though it has conditions, can and will forgive flaws. You may be well aware of your spouses annoying habits, but because he or she fills up your conditions for your love, you wont care that much. And since you know that there are conditions for his or her love for you, you will remain respectful, loving and caring; because you know he or she can just pick up and leave if you fail to meet their conditions. When we start expecting unconditional love from our spouses, that is when we start giving ourselves permissions to talk to them without respect, nag, treat them like children or inferior, and that is not a good way to go about a relationship, dont you agree?

If a lover of mine would tell me he loves me unconditionally, I would not like it one bit. Not one single bit. That would mean that whatever I was, whatever my personality was like, whatever I treated him like, wouldnt matter. Somehow he picked me as his girlfriend, and now he loves me unconditionally - without a reason. As lovers, dont we often ask our lovers the question: "Why do you love me?" And the answers are so sweet to hear. We want to hear our lover has reasons for loving us - unconditional love doesnt have such reasons. If it was a question of unconditional love, the answer would simply be: "Because youre my girlfriend." Although "because I am your mother" is a good answer, "because youre my girlfriend" is a horrible answer, dont you agree?

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Unconditional Love The Transforming Power of Unconditional Love

Youve heard the words "I love you" so many times that it seems that the deep meaning of it has become superficial in its usage. But theres love that is profound, constant and unconditional and it is from and out of this love that we have emerged. Weve come from the heart of love and in remaining connected to the Source is where we find our life and sustenance.

Allow the fire of perfect love to radiate and burn within your inner being. Let it consume your soul, transform your mind and express itself through your body through focused thought and intention. It has always been there as a part of you and you begin to experience it when you are consciously aware of the connection to Loves existence and turn full face towards Love in order to experience the warmth.

If this love is a part of us why then is it not more evidenced in our world? If youve ever observed an infant - they do everything instinctively. You dont need to tell an infant when its time to begin to roll over or learn to crawl or walk. Neither do you have to educate them about love. They love you unconditionally. They quickly forgive and never hold a grudge. But as they continue to grow theyre reconditioned by societys way of thinking, no longer the innocence of love - then they begin to adapt and lose the true essence of their original heritage.

We were all there at one point but have drawn away and/or moved away from living a life of true love. Weve collected a lot of debris of judgment, anger, resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness that have blocked our communication with our Source of Love and have therefore stopped the flow of Love from entering our lives. Weve now adapted to a superficial love that says, "I love you if you love me. I love you because youre cute or I love you because you are rich, or because you make me feel so good inside."

True love goes way beyond these conditions and says, "I love you because I love you and nothing can change that. I love you in spite of and not because of." We have moved so far away from what is truth that the truth we embrace is so marred by the debris in our lives that when true unconditional love comes its hardly recognizable because weve grown used to the false identity and definition of love.

A call to return to love

Its time that we return to the Source of Love that we may be transformed in the presence of Love and Loves embrace.

How do you experience Love?

You experience this power because you desire it, you long for it, you summon it and Love comes to you. When you move away from it, you move away from the Source of the fire, the heat and passion of love and you begin to feel cold. Many people are cold. Some experience spurts of warmth but they never come close enough to experience the intensity and passion of Divine love. When you have, there is still much more to experience. When you come to that place where you remain in the intensity of love, you experience new levels of ecstasy you never thought possible.

Experience the Ultimate Love

Its called the setting of yourself aside to surrender to and experience ultimate love. It satisfies, it thrills, its joy fulfillment, its deep inner peace. Its the wanting or needing of nothing else - the satisfaction of your entire being.

Have you ever experienced a love so deep it burns to the core of your inner being? Its like walking around with an inner campfire but never being consumed by it. It saturates your being to the point you need to take a deep breath so you can breathe or you ask for a second just so you can catch your breath? Come take a journey with me to the depths of your soul and experience the true flames of love.

Experience Love like youve never known, peace and joy in abundance and satisfaction unlimited. Once youve tasted, youll always desire to return, but why leave? You could remain there - you could live there and experience new levels of ecstasy in its purity.

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