How To Escape The Final Stages Of Breaking Up

As we know very few people suddenly break up. There is usually a series of stages of breaking up that all couples go through. If it comes as a shock, you probably have the reason why you were dumped. You weren’t paying attention to what was happening between you and your partner. Otherwise you would have spotted he/she wasn’t happy, was ignoring you and doing their best not to spend time with you.

We all get caught up in our own thing from time to time and this isn’t usually a problem. But when your partner sees less of you than your friends and other family,it can highlight an issue in your relationship. If you do spend time together but are always fighting, you need to stop and break that cycle. Constant arguing achieves nothing and although initially it is fun making up, it can come to a point where you don’t bother trying.

Does your partner trust you? Do you trust them? Lack of trust is also a symptom of a partnership in trouble. If you always second guess your lover or expect to know where they are all the time, they will soon see that this isn’t love and may move on. If you are behaving like this, you need to stop right now. Unless your spouse has given you reason not to trust them, you should believe in them and have faith that they will do the right thing.

Are you on the same wavelength as your other half? Do they share your happy feelings and commiserate when you are down or feeling low? Couples who instinctively, know how the other is feeling, will overcome most of the hurdles that life can throw at us.

Does your lover share your interests and hobbies? If she has made an effort to get involved, this is a sign that she really cares about you. No-one expects her to join you for your 5am fishing trips but if she seems interested in listening to your stories about what you caught, what size it was, that is a good sign.

Your partner may have asked for a trial separation. Ok, so sometimes this is just an easy way of saying “you are dumped but I can’t say that!” But it doesn’t always have to mean this. Things can go wrong between two people and only time apart will help them to resolve the issues.

So if your lover does suggest this, agree but ask that they come to counselling with you. Show them that you do not want the relationship to end as they mean too much to you. Try not to put pressure on them and do not resort to emotional blackmail. You cannot force someone to love you but you can turn a bad situation into something a lot worse by appearing desperate or manipulative.

True love is based on understanding and respect. Showing your partner that you know this is a great way to avoid the final stages of breaking up.

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DEBT AND LAW OF ATTRACTION !

First off all , lets not argue about "but from where the money will come ?" , its none of your business ! , its the universes business , so you just sit pretty while the universe finds a way to come up with the Money .For my more skeptical friends , Please relax and let the universe show you , "How the money is going to come. "

Now that being said , we can move on to the topic at hand , that is DEBT ! 

Being is Debt is bad , being constantly chased by creditors is annoying and at the same time takes toll over our self esteem and image.  

Many of us have at some point in our life have found ourselves in debt , we owe money , and we dont have enough to pay back . And believe me , i know , this feeling sucks , especially if you are not an habitual defaulter.

Many people ask me about law of attraction and Money , can LOA be used to manifest money , can it help them to clear off their debts ?

The Answer is Yes ! it can ! But , like any application of LOA , it can be really easy or really difficult to implement , depends on your current mindset. 

Now look at "Settlement of Debt" as a need , so when applying LOA on this matter , we calculate the amount of money we need to settle the debt and ask the universe to deliver through visualization , imagination , listing out things to be thankful for and stuff , if these work for you , then just close this page , because you are An LOA Master and you dont need to be here , go enjoy your money , but if these dont work , read on.

The universe manifests the essence of your desires by picking up on your emotions and feelings. So sometimes concentrating on an "BIG Amount of money to pay off your debt , when there is no obvious source of income in sight , can be a little difficult , it can also , evoke Negative emotions of doubt and uncertainty. 

SO whats the alternative ?

Its. simple , we take the money factor out of the manifestation. Just listen to me for a second ,before lighting the torches and picking up your pitchforks .  Its simple , 

"The manifestation we are aiming for is Debt settlement not manifesting Money ! "

Let me explain with an example ....

Meet Steve , Steve has lost his job due to something inevitable. And now with no monthly income to support him , Steve is facing a Huge Credit card Outstanding , lets say USD 30000 ! Maybe he bought a Train for all i care , but the truth is he is in debt , and he has no way of paying it off in the future . Now he can declare bankruptcy and get the credit card people off his back , but lets be honest , declaring Bankruptcy isnt cheap . that will be the last nail in the coffin. 

What Steve needs to do is to address the elephant in the room , or better , imagine the room without the elephant ! 

The need here is to settle the debt , and the only logical solution Steves brain is giving him is "Get some Money" But with the bad market and all (again a belief of Steves Brain) it seems impossible at the moment. So what does he do ? He leaves it to the universe. 

What Steves Brain doesnt understand is that the HOW of this manifestation will be taken care off by the universe , who has access to all the 3600 Thousand Trillion Dollars on the earth , And Steves Debt is a measly 0.0000000000000001 % of that wealth. So all Steve has to do now is concentrate on the feeling he is going to feel while he is repaying the Debt. 

So, Steve sits Down , and He relaxes , He Takes deep breaths and he remembers the fact that he is the creator of his own experience in this reality  . And he Asks himself ....

              "How will i feel , when this debt is paid ? " 

What does this debt settlement stand for , the answer is simple , RELAXATION  ! Steve will be able to finally relax once the debt is paid . and through that Relaxation will come Happiness. 

Knowing this Steve now , imagines that he is paying his debt off, he is writing a cheque , and he is handing it over to the people he owes money , or he is Transferring funds from his account and paying off all his debt , and while doing so , a feeling of relaxation is sweeping over him. Now he is no longer under debt , and great burden is off his shoulders and he is feeling free and light and  mildly elated. He keeps feeling these feelings , looses track of time , drifts off to sleep.
 

Next Morning he wakes up , freshens up , sits down with a pen and paper , Writes down ....

"Thank you universe for such an amazing resolution , i feel so free and light , now that i have cleared off all my debts . And the best part , there is money left with me after , to help me start over again. Thank you universe for taking care of me ! " 

He spends the day without a care in the world and in the evening , receives a text that his account has been debited with 60000 USD . 

So folks what did we learn ?

1. Its the feelings that matter. SO find a way to feel "That way". 

2. You manifestation aint in the future , its now , when asking for a desire , act as if you have it "NOW"

3. The universe is Generous , it will give you more than you could have ever imagined or expected. 

4. Its possible for you to feel "That way" without an actual manifestation. 

5. Goal setting is good , but Dont be stuck on a date , Maybe the universe wants to deliver it ahead of time. 

6. When ever you are imagining or visualizing , Do it in the Present tense , do it as if you have everything now. Your imagination is your happy place , you are not bound by physical limitations , so go Nuts ! 

 
pS. This Example was based of a real experience of one of the readers. :)

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A WAY OUT OF NEGATIVITY !

So whats the deal with the universe Anyway ? From what we have been hearing , the Universe responds to your vibration... good or Bad vibration is responded with matching manifestations. The universe is neutral when it comes to manifestations , and you are the one responsible for your own vibrations and your own manifestations . 

So be afraid , Be very afraid... because there is no one coming to your rescue , its all your responsibility .

This one thought drives a lot of new LOAers up the walls .You start reveling in the awesome power of the universe , and then you have a negative thought , and you get scared , because negative thoughts attract to you more negative thoughts , and in turn negative situations and manifestations , so you try to wrestle that negative thought to the ground, and in doing so , you make the situations even worst. 

Ok have i scared you enough ? I have !? i am sorry... 

Ok let me put this one scary thought to ease...

The Universe is inherently good . The Universe is actively trying to take us to our desires. The Universe knows what makes you happy and what are your inner and deepest desires . and it always is actively trying to push you towards your happiness. But we hold ourselves in a place of misery by actively holding on to the negative thoughts. 

You know why , the the negative feels or emotions cause so much pain ? because you are like that lighthouse that is standing against the huge waves. The waves (the universe) is constantly trying to sway you and sweep you towards your happiness , but you are being stubborn and you are standing in negativity (like the lighthouse) . The pain that you feel is caused because by holding yourself in a place of negativity (worrying , acknowledging absence , anger , betrayal) , you are constantly waging a war against the universe that is trying to take you to your happiness. 

SO , dont you think that giving up is the right thing to do. When you surrender yourself to the Universe , it takes you to the place where all your desires and manifestations are waiting for you. All you have to do is let go and give in. 

When we feel stuck or when we are in a bad place , that only means the we have created too much negative momentum ie; we are stuck in a web of negativity . And the more we try to find our way out of it , the more tight its grip on us becomes . 

So when we give in , when we let go , we try to go to a place of calm and comfort , where these tangled web of negativity slowly starts to get loose , and the more still we become , the further out of this web we find ourselves. Until there comes a point where there is no more negativity left , and from here the universe swoops in like superman .. and carries us to our goals. 

                                                                       Flow of the universe
                            >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  Your Desires.
                              <<<<<<<<<<<<<
                              Direction our negativity 
                              is dragging us towards. 

You maybe visualizing , imagining , appreciating , and if its working , good for you , but for those , who feel that all this feels a bit forced . know this , that you cant go from a place of negativity to a place of Positivity Directly . You have to go to a place of calmness before.The best way to stop negative thoughts is to stop thought altogether 

                        Bad feelings                              Calmness/ Content                    Happiness
                        >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



  So , how do you come to place of calmness . how do you stop the thoughts ?

You Meditate !!! ... Click here to know how...

And what do you do for the rest of the day . You live in the moment , I ll Discuss that in a separate blogpost.

Till then , Take care .

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Getting Ex Back will require Patience And Understanding

  Relationships take work,  they are by no means simple.  In order for a couple to make a long lasting relationship they have to work at keeping one another happy.  There are differences and obstacles that can trip up any relationship.  There can even be times when the relationship seems over and you go your own ways,  it is at times such as this you wonder how to get ex back.

In many cases a break-up is the result of a simple difference of opinions.  Communication and jealousy make a big portion of the obstacles that need to be overcome to ensure a relationship to sort out.  Regardless of what the issue might have been,  almost always there is a way to work it out if both parties want it bad enough.  It isnt until they are gone,  that we truly appreciate them.

 More often than not it will take one person to leave for the other to realize how important they were in their lives and how unique their relationship is.  Often we love someone the most after they leave.  If we try hard enough we could figure out how to get ex back ,  but it will require learning to understand them and what they bring to the relationship.

 Before you can make an effort to win this person back you will need to realize that what happened caused some damage and it will take time to undo the damage for the two of you.  No matter who was at fault,  what matters is that you are willing to take the first step to make things right and hopefully get your ex back.  In case you get into it still blaming the other you’ll not be successful at reconciling your relationship.

 Keep in mind that whatever the specific situation was that broke you up;  chances are you both were hurt.  This means you will have to give them time to get past the specific situation.  If theyre not ready to move on and try again then you will not be able to convince them otherwise.  You need to show them that you are there for them and will be waiting until they are ready.

 By giving them time and starting back as friends it is possible to get them back by doing the same things you did to win them over in the first place.  After they have had time to heal and they see that you still care,  they will most likely be willing to try to work things out.  Remember that you will need to convince them that what happened before won’t happen again.

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God Will Trouble Those Who Trouble YOU!

We do not have to go looking for trouble in life. It has a way of coming to look for us! The Bible says, "human beings are born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward", Job 5:7.

During the time of trouble God can sometimes feel far away. No matter how you feel or how big your problem, God is never far away. For He has promised you this, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you," Hebrews 13:5.

He also promised, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze," Isaiah 43:2.

So even in those difficult times, God is still with you and will surely fight for you. Jesus Christ, the One who loves you so much and died on the cross for you, has already paid for all your trouble.

God says, call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honour me." Psalm 50:15. He also promises to do this for you, "pay back trouble to those who trouble you," 2 Thessalonians 1:6.

SO What KIND OF trouble are you facing today? Is it, miscarriage? stress and infertility, menstrual issues, marital issues, difficulties in your family or children, financial issues, danger, trial, tribulation, worry, concern, anxiety, care, misfortune, unrest, disorder, bad dreams, discontent, sleepless nights, turmoil, conflict, discord, pain. No matter what challenge is confronting you today I want to point you to Jesus.

God has promised to defend you in times of trouble. All you need to do today is to run to God and cast all your cares upon him for He cares for you.

The bible actually calls these troubles we face minor afflictions. God has promised to fight for you if you will allow him. Praise the Lord!

No matter what kind of trouble the enemy is cooking up against you, this is the only thing God has commended you to do, "Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray! James 5:13. God has given us his word concerning trouble, when you see trouble you are suppose to pray using Gods word and our good God will deliver you from it.

Bible promises concerning trouble:

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble, Psalm 9:9.

But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless, Psalm 10:4.

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance, Psalm 32:7.

The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD, he is their stronghold in time of trouble, Psalm 37:39.

Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the LORD delivers him in times of trouble, Psalm 41:1.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble, Psalm 46:1.

Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honour me, Psalm 50:15.

God says I am your refuge, this means God is your safe haven, your sanctuary, your shelter, your protection, your place of safety, your retreat, your security, your safeguard, your shied and your armour.

What is a stronghold? A stronghold is an iron grip. God has an iron grip over your life and is defending you strongly by his mighty power from heaven using his powerful Angels. For the bible says "the angel of the Lord encamp around those who fear him and delivers them", psalm 34:7. Do not be afraid of trouble, open your mouth and speak Gods word boldly in Jesus name rebuking any trouble confronting you and it will flee from you.

Prayer:

I give thanks to the God of heaven; his love endures forever in my life. As for me I will always have hope, because God is my refuge and strength. I will praise you more and more my good God. I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God. I will sing praise to you with the lyre, O my Lord, because I know that you Love me.

I will sing of your strength, in the morning, I will sing of your love; for you are my fortresses, my refuge in times of trouble. Infertility and miscarriage and bad satanic dreams will not destroy my life.

I say it in faith "GOD LOVES ME". He is my refuge, and my safe haven, my place of safety, my sanctuary, my shelter and divine protection. Yes "GOD LOVES ME". My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you Lord.

I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God, I trust in Gods unfailing love for me forever and ever. God has granted me relief from days of trouble and dug a pit for the wicked and all those who hate me.

My God is my place of safety, He is my retreat, infertility, miscarriage, fibroids, low sperm count, unexplained infertility, evil dreams, cannot harm me. God is my security and my defence and will always be my safeguard.

I pray O LORD and declare in faith that this is the time of your favour and you have answered me with your sure salvation. God has remembered me and will show his love and his faithfulness to me. All the ends of the earth will see the salvation of God in my life. I Give thanks to the God of gods, his love endures forever.

Praise be to the LORD my God who alone does marvellous deeds. I have cried out to the LORD in my troubles and he has heard me delivered me from all my distress.

Praise be to his glorious name forever. God loves me, and I love him too. See! He has engraved me on the palms of his hands; my walls are ever before him. My Lord will continue to uphold me, I will not be afraid of the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, for my defender is MIGHTY! May the whole earth be filled with your love and glory O Lord my God.

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me. Let the heads of those who surround me be covered with the trouble their lips have caused.

For your names sake, O LORD, preserve my life; in your righteousness, you have brought me out of all that trouble me.

Whatever they plot against me the LORD will bring to an end; trouble will not come a second time to me. Jesus says in his word, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Jesus has defeated the world for me. I rise up above you satanic dreams, miscarriage, infertility, in Jesus name. "Who shall separate me from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword Or even bad dreams separate me from Gods love? NO! My God is just; He will pay back trouble to those who trouble me.

Praise be to the LORD, my God who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to me and my family but has remained faithful to protect us. For God is the King of all the earth, I sing to him a song of praise.

Great is the LORD, and most worthy of praise, in the city of our God, his holy mountain. Like your name, O God, your praise reaches to the ends of the earth; your right hand is filled with righteousness. O Lord you have opened my lips and my mouth will declare your praise. My God is just, He will pay back trouble to those who trouble me.

Finally, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.

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An Unusual Personality Test That Will Surprise You!

Read the story below and answer as spontaneously and quickly as possible.

There are two neighboring islands. In the first one live two men: an uncivilized savage and a civilized man. In the other island there are several people, among them a girl who is in love and has a relationship with the civilized man

The girl wants to go to the opposite island to meet her lover. She asks the only boatman of the island how much he wants to take her there. The boatman says that he does not want money and he will take her to the other island if she is naked in the boat. The girl is shocked… not knowing what to do she goes to the wise man of the island to ask for help. He listens to her story with attention and gives the following advice: “Do what your heart tells you, my child…” So the girl decides to accept the proposal of the boatman in order to meet her beloved man. So, they go to the other island. But when they arrive, the savage is on the seafront and gets crazy at the sight of the naked woman so he rapes her… At the same moment the civilized man comes and sees the scene. He goes mad and tells the girl that he does not want her anymore and she must leave immediately…

 Evaluate the 5 characters of the story (savage, civilized man, girl, boatman, wise man) from the best to the worst, so that the number 1 is the character that you believe to be the best person of the story and the 5th is the worst of all.


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Interpretation 

Each character of the story represents a priority in your life: 

Savage = how important is sex for you; 
Civilized man = importance of other people’s opinion; 
Girl = your need for emotional relationship; 
Boatman = your need for earning money; 
Wise man = how much you rely on logic.



Credits: Learning mind 
Anna Lemind

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Will No Contact Rule Work to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Why it Works to Perfection Every Time

Will No Contact Rule Work to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Why it Works to Perfection Every Time

If y?uve broken u? recently, y?u might be ask?ng ?ours?lf one question, “how do i g?t my ?x boyfriend back”? Well th? good news is, it’s n?t rocket science ?nd it d?esnt have to be t?o difficult. Below I will outline 3 things th?t y?u sh?uld ?lway? do aft?r ? breakup.

The no contact rule

After ? breakup, wheth?r y?u broke u? with him or vice versa, it? important t? cease ?ll communication. This i? kn?wn as th? no contact rule. Of c?ur?e you d?n’t do th?s forever, but immediately aft?r ? breakup, it i? important. If y?ur ex ?s s?r??us ?bout reconciliation, and y?u ar? a? well, then things ?an g? fr?m there. But until y?u hav? ? chance t? reestablish a healthy relationship, remember, n? contact!

Do n?t becom? an emotional punching bag

After ? breakup, man? people say to themselves, “I want to g?t m? ex boyfriend back”. If y?ur boyfriend was a good person, h?w?v?r y?u tw? ju?t h?d ?ome problems, this i? normal. But ?f th?y ar? giving y?u false hope ?r toying with y?ur emotions, th?s ?s a red flag. Many men w?ll continue t? lead th? girl on as it giv?s th?ir ego ? boost t? hav? ?om?one chasing them. If thi? i? th? case, I would advise y?u to stay away.

Focus on friends, family, and mo?t importantly yourself

You hav? numerous options ?n maintaining y?ur ?wn emotional health ?fter the breakup. Focus on your friends whil? taking u? ? n?w hobby. You m?ght ev?n w?nt t? go ?n ? vacation f?r rest ?nd relaxation or simply t? h?ve a good time. Whatever ?ou do ensure th?t ?ou ar? n?t home ?lone facing the memories ?f y?ur failed relationship. So b? happy, t?ll yourself, “I CAN get my ex boyfriend back!” Good luck!

Now Listen Carefully –

If y?u ?re TRULY ??ri?u? ab?ut g?tting h?m back, th?n y?u NEED t? act fast, befor? h? moves on.

I strongly urge ??u to read ?v?ryth?ng on the n?xt page b?for? it? too late – http://ift.tt/1xMxkdG



from How to Get Your Ex Back - Make Ex Want You Back http://ift.tt/1xbAPx5

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Women Men Avoid 3 Top Reasons You Will Keep Missing Your Dream Man

Some women get it right with men, while others get it wrong. In fact, they get it wrong all the time. They thought it was the guy, but they never really know that it was their own fault. Hey! woman, stop blaming others for your failure with men.

If only you knew the truth about men that could change the entire course of your relationship henceforth. There is an old saying that; it is the truth you know that sets you free. You must understand that inasmuch as men love women, and cant resist their sight, or being in their circle, there are certain ladies with certain attributes, that guys run away from, and avoids like a plague. Would you love me to show you these attributes?

Suffice it to say that women are No. 1 weakness of every man, but why are they avoiding some, and flowing freely with others, even when it is obvious that the former are better than the latter in all ramification.

Highlighted below are the 3 top reasons why some ladies will never get it right with guys.

1) All about dollars. Guys avoid ladies who see them as the alpha and omega. Such ladies are not interested in doing or achieving anything for themselves, their intent for having a man is to place all their life burdens upon him, without no clue that guys detests liabilities. Do something with your hands, you will be appreciated by him.

2) The ideal world. Ladies who dont believe that an ideal world only exists in the dream realm, like that of "James Bond 007" making love on the inside of the ocean, are always on the losing end with guys. Wake up lady, we are in a real world that contain real things like mosquito bites, settling bills, and many challenges.

3) Unstable as water. These are ladies who jump from one relationship to the other. She has no credential of staying with a particular man for long. She is out of a relationship today, but into another one tomorrow, for no genuine cause. The implication of this to guys is that if she did not stay with him or others for long, she probably wont stay any longer with me. One truth about men is that they want loyalty.

Rid yourself of these 3 canker worms, and you wont be numbered again amongst those that men avoid, but as someone that they love, cherish and adore.

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Getting rid of Jealousy and insecurity

"Jealousy is an emotion, and the word typically refers to the thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, concern, and anxiety over an anticipated loss or status of something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection."

The not so famous ,anticipated loss which has killed thousand , no millions of budding relationships still in their innocence. One person gets too attached to fast, fears that the other one isnt up-to speed, starts fearing losing something so great, pushing the other person away by starting to act weird. Not their fault, actually , you can blame all you want, but the harsh truth is none of you are at fault here . 

Everything got screwed up coz one of the biggest truth that governs almost everyone in this life and the world is ....

"With great love comes great fear of losing that great love"

That fear of losing, something that you love so much, the fear of something bad happening during the best of times. Its funny if you look at it in a way that you would never anticipate things suddenly getting better in the middle of chaos. It makes sense if you think about it...

People will always tell you to practice caution, always tell you to keep an eye out for some uncertain, uninvited, out of control , bad thing , that would just come and ruin everything good. They call it precaution, prevention. Basically keep an eye out so that a random bad thing wont walk in and ruin everything... But if that is true, and events are random, feelings and thoughts are random then why not be on a lookout for something random good that would just waltz in and ruin everything that is bad. Funny, right.

Ask anyone who has been into "the mode" for a while, apart from a string of Busted relationships, another thing that would be common with all of them would be the low self worth. Being insecure for a long time does that to you, and being the common factor in all those failures kinda leads a person to believe that there is something wrong with them. 

Middle script: I ll refer to the J-word as "The mode" 

It usually Goes on like this...

• You fall in love/ you start to like someone
• You decide that this is great. 
• Fear starts to creep in, "You dont wanna mess this up" 
• They miss a few calls or text msgs 
• You start assuming stuff 
• They miss some more calls, reschedule dates/ seem distracted
• You start to wonder what is wrong, They seemed to like you, then why the absence?
• You come to a conclusion that they might be into you.
• Makes you feel bad.
• The brain does what is does best, in situations like these
• Find an external source to blame
• You go stalking
• You work out the math/ statistics 
• And find a third person to blame/ come to a conclusion that there might be someone else.
• You become jealous/ start acting weird to grab attention. 
• You forget that this person already likes you
• Your out of character behavior drives this person away. 
• You become desperate/ either give up/ or do crazy stuff
• Finally you give up/ your self esteem has taken a hit/ There was someone better/ you were inferior  

People in "the mode" will often report about this "other guy" or "other girl" who would always be the competition, or trust issues even when the relationship was going on. 

Social media makes it worse. 

Everyone has their own way to deal with insecurity, here is what i did...

 I struggled with "the mode" for a long time, and i also concluded that i have fallen into the pattern of considering myself inferior to the competition. Feeling like the 2nd one always led me to feel like i was unattractive, which manifested physically as me getting tanned, gaining weight, hair loss.. and clicking some of the worst dps of all time. 

The pattern of failing relationships continued as well. So i got fed up, decided to reboot... my life, i mean, i knew LOA , sky was the limit, at-least theoretically. I gave it all up, left my job, uprooted from mumbai, moved back to my hometown.. to figure out how i can be the best ie; make a lot of money(guys kinda get a kick out of making money- youre gaining weight; make money! - Suffered a heartbreak; Make money! ), Coz if i am the best then i wont loose to anyone.

Started working out to get back in shape, ate the right stuff, even tried to increase my height by a few inches(didnt work), shaved my head to cure my hair. Time passed on, and the work out started to show results, i was in better shape, but that feeling was still there, coz i was hung up on my last heart break. But i was still far from being the best, My friends and family often told me that i was just torturing myself, throwing my life away, but i had to be the best, so that i would never loose again. I knew i had the problem of going into "the mode" and  i had to find was way to stop being insecure. Figured , if i was better than everyone, i would never be insecure again. 

Stumbling onto the solution

Then it hit me that, i cant be better than who i am, i mean better is anyway a relative term, so if you have to be better than someone, you need that someone to compare with, these someones would be the guys who would snatch away my "the one" every damn time.

Also, which one was i trying to surpass ? Was it the guy who works in her office, or her college friend, or her Ex boyfriend, or any random guy how would pay attention to her... Coz these guys seemed to be infinite in number.

I realized that there is always going to be someone better than me.. so if my problem really is that i think that i am less than them, then i am screwed , coz there is no solution to that.

Then i asked myself, are any of these girls really the best one out there, coz that cant be true, i know girls who are much more prettier, and more fun ... then why am i here, in love with these women.. who clearly arent the best. ???

The answer is love, what makes these relationship special is love, the kind of love that makes me feel a certain way..that other prettier girls dont . Even when i am comfortable with them, they will only be friends, and not special, because they dont make me feel what i need to feel to be in love.

So , if i am willing to settle for someone average (statistically) , shouldnt the other person see the same thing in me, and the fact that i did feel whatever lead me on, means that we both have what it takes to make each other feel whatever we need to feel in order to fall in love and commit.

By that logic, I am fine, and good enough. (It wouldnt have started if i wasnt good enough to be in their life.)

Wow , thats a lot of backstory, pardon me, you simply have to understand one thing..

The Fear that drives you into "the mode", the fear of losing the relationship, is irrational, coz if you wanna see threats there are 3.5 billion of them. Yes there are 3.5 billion other men/women out there, and if you fear "what if he/she runs into someone interesting?" , Guess what...that can happen anywhere and at anytime,  coz everyone in his/her vicinity is interesting in some capacity. And who knows , anything can click with anyone.

What do you do then? I have personally tried to act out of character, just to get attention, i have faked sickness and injury just because i wanted the other person to care... so that i can speed up thing unnaturally. I have seen people turn clingy , crazy , unreasonable and the worst of all controlling. I have seen people forbid their "special someone" to have contact with friends, best friends even family members. But is that the way to keep anyone around? 

Yes.. thats you.. 

The solution

You need to put yourself in the other persons shoes for a while. Would you run off after every random interesting person even when you have a good thing going on with a person that you have chosen to like? If you would... then serves you right, you deserve to be abandoned! But if you are one of the normal ones... you would hold on to the interesting person you already have in your life, coz they are important, and you would like to give it a chance, whatever this is....Now come back into your own shoes, you have to know that there is no competition... If you have invited a decent person in your life,  and this person has chosen to stay, then they will not leave you.. you need not be threatened.. what you really need to pay attention to, is the relationship that you share with this person and cherish it more so that it can transform into something much more solid. 

See... you can waste your time worrying about loss of love... or you can just love. Its you and the other person, no one can come in between you unless you put them there. 

If the love between you two is growing then there is no room for a third person coming in between... This is not about trust, this is about wisdom. Be wise enough to not leave room for a third person, by not paying attention to them. (here i am transcending the laws of psychology and treading into Law of attraction , so you muggles can stop reading now) .

You get whatever you invite, so by being jealous of their best friend/ex/colleague/ family members, you are just inviting them to disrupt your relationship. Hell, just by fearing the loss of the love that you have you are inviting a circumstance that would make that happen (moving out of town/country/planet, finding someone new/ just losing interest because of depression/loss/work/something else). No they are not going to be in love with your "special someone"(that is between them and your special someone) but it will sure seem like that to you , coz you have invited it, and that is what the universe will manifest further. There is no such thing as competition, until you invent and invite it. 

So you want things to get better, you want to see more of them , maybe take the relationship a step further, and you have come to know about this desire of yours through the contrast that you have been feeling in your interactions with them(missing them/ wanting more of them/ feeling the need to take thing further), then, start being appreciative and grateful for what you have with them, and then dream about where you want to take it further, and make sure to explore how it would feel when you are where you want to be. 

take care. 

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How Can A Jerk Get Woman Back

If you are trying to get woman back, but you were a jerk to her, you may not deserve her. That may not be what you want to hear but it may very well be the truth. It is good that you recognize that you may have had a problem but what are you going to do about it and why should she want you back? Until you figure those things out you may not get woman back.

Here’s what you need to do to get woman back:

1) Change the way you look at women. If you consider them property then you do not deserve a chance. View them as people deserving of respect and do your best to give it to them and you might have a chance. To love women you need to respect women.

2) Change the way you treat women. Chivalry is not dead. Be a gentleman and treat them as queens. If you can pull this off your chances improve. Be subtle about it and try not to draw attention. You don’t want to look like you are faking it. They will notice. Women are smart like that and if she doesn’t notice she will have a friend notice and tell her. Your credibility may be shot.

3) Learn humility. This will go a long way towards helping you get woman back.

4) Let her know that you were a jerk. If she tells you that you were, just agree with her. If she exaggerates, or it seems like she is, remember that to her she isn’t. The only person’s opinion that matters is hers if your goal is to get woman back. You’re selling and you’re trying to get her to buy. The customer is always right.

5) Find out if she wants some space or if she wants you to come begging and then give her what she wants. This will be a tough thing to do. You may have to ask around to people who know her well. She may even think that your efforts to try out are worth giving you a second thought.

6) Try and convince her friends that you are changed. You will have to do this first. They will be skeptical of you and will be most interested in protecting their friend that you hurt. If you can win her friends then you have won the major part of the battle. If you try and get ex back first, you will have trouble convincing her and even if you do, they may talk her out of it. Do you want her trusted friends for you or against you?

7) Don’t tell her that you have changed, show her. Words are great but it doesn’t mean anything unless there is some action to back it up. You need more than words.

8) Think about the long term and if you are going to be able to make this change permanent. If you can’t then you are going to end up in the same place you are now but only with a smaller chance to get woman back.

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Simple Adjustments That Will Have Your Ex Boyfriend Regretting His Decision To Breakup

Question:

Is th?re ?nything I ?an d? ?n m? personal life t? hel? get my ex boyfriend t? notice me?

Answer:

This is a great question th?t g?ts asked by alot ?f women look?ng f?r advice on how changing them?elv?s ?an help g?t th?ir ?x boyfriend back.

If youve broken u? with ?our boyfriend but ?our ultimate goal ?s t? get back togeth?r dont focus ?ll your energies ?n ?our own needs, be?au?e youre ?ctuall? forgetting ?ne crucial element: ?our ex boyfriends ne?ds and wants.

Whats worse is th?t you m?ght n?t s?e wh?t he sees. For example, ?re ?ou needy ?nd clingy? Are ?ou constantly hounding him with texts and phone calls? Are ?ou tr?ing ?nyth?ng ?n ?our power t? reconnect w?th h?m ?nd get things back to the w?y they w?re before?

If so, ?t m?ght b? time to stop ?nd t?ke ? l?ok in the mirror.

I kn?w th?s is g?ing to sound harsh but I know what youre trying to d? right now. Youre tr?ing t? sell ?ours?lf t? ?our ex and convince him to t?ke you back. But what ?ou n?ed to ask ?ourself is: ?re ?ou giving him ?omething that he really wants?

No ?ne ?ver g?ts back togeth?r until they both w?nt to, ?o until ?our ?x wants ?ou back, no amount ?f begging ?r pleading ?s going t? make h?m t?ke ?ou back. In fact ?t w?ll drive h?m aw?y

The secret to g?tting your boyfriend back ?s to be?ome the girl h? fell ?n love with.

I kn?w th?t it sounds simple ?n theory, but the reality ?f th? situation ?s that ?ts going t? b? m?re difficult th?n ?ou th?nk be?au?e ?f your emotions.

After the breakup youre g?ing t? have ?everal emotions swirling ?round ?n ?our head from your past relationship. These emotions ?an make ?t harder f?r you t? th?nk and act straight when tr?ing t? reconcile w?th your boyfriend and your f?rst moves ?fter th? breakup can dictate whether ?r not youll end up togeth?r again.

Now th?t youre aware ?f this, dont make g?tting back togeth?r a priority bec?use youll ?ust make a mistake th?t will drive him furth?r away. Take time to clear ?our mind and g?t control of ?our emotions.

Mastering ?our feelings allows ?ou to look at things differently making th? path to reconciliation clearer ?nd easier for you, e?pe?ially since n?w ?ou wont b? jumping to conclusions that ?ould put your efforts in jeopardy.

Every action ?nd word ?ou d? ?nd say need? to be focused ?round ? specific goal and when youre thinking straight, ?verything els? falls ?nto place.

Bringing Back the Magic ?n Your Relationship to Make Your Ex Fall f?r You Again

Close ?our eyes ?nd th?nk back t? when ?ou ?nd ?our ex first started dating. Do you remember h?w ?veryth?ng s?emed perfect? Even th?ugh th? magic fades, the memories dont.

The advantage that ?ou have h?re is knowledge ?nd space. Absence makes th? heart grow fonder and ?ou kn?w wh?t h? likes ?nd what makes him tick ?o ?ou h?ve the perfect recipe to make h?m fall for you again.

If ?ou want t? make him fall for you again, u?? ?our knowledge of wh?t h? likes ?nd create the situation that made ??u fall in love in the f?rst place. Remember h?w I s?id ?ou h?d knowledge? Use th?? t? your advantage t? get h?s attention ?g?in ?nd remind him what makes h?m special t? you.

What you n??d t? do right now is focus ?n yourself and t?k? control of ?our emotions and attitude b?cau?e thes? things w?ll affect h?w h? sees you. If ??ur attitude is good, hell se? some?ne whos confident and happy with herself. The m?r? ?ou t?ke care ?f y?urself and build ?our??lf up the more hell b? attracted t? you.

Below, Ill outline 5 areas that ?ou can work ?n to h?lp get ??ur ex boyfriends attention. The harder ?our work and the more focused ?ou ?r? on these, the m?re progress youll make.

Area 1: Become Confident In Every Aspect of Your Life

Guys love ? confident woman. Theres ?u?t s?m?thing ?bout a woman who kn?ws what ?he w?nts ?nd goe? ?ut ?nd g?ts ?t that makes h?r sexy.

Its ? kn?wn fact that women love a confident man, but th?y ?ft?n overlook the fact th?t men w?nt th?s in women too. Its easier t? h?ve ? w?ll balanced relationship with ? woman who kn?w? wh?t ?he w?nt? ?? opposed t? s?me?ne whos needy ?nd clingy.

You might n?t feel confident right n?w and thats ok, after ?ll ?ou d?d ?ust breakup, but ?ou do n??d to tackle th?s head ?n soon. Everyone g?ts dumped at some point ?n th?ir life, but ??u shouldnt l?t ?t get ??u down. Look at ?our??lf in th? mirror ?nd g?t back ?n the horse. Without confidence th? road to your ex boyfriend ?s ? long, uphill climb.

Area 2: Becoming Independent

Another trait th?t guys find sexy and attractive ?? independence. Most women l?ke to th?nk theyre independent in th? var?ous aspects ?f th??r lives, but wh?n it ?om?? to relationships th?? ?an be??me clingy and needy w?thout knowing it.

Independence ?s th? exact opposite of being needy. An independent girlfriend ?s some?ne wh? doesnt need h?r boyfriend at all hours ?f the day and is capable ?f creating a fun environment for herself. This ?s ? great trait to h?ve ?s men ?r? alwa?? more attracted t? a woman wh? doesnt need th?m for every little thing.

The main reason that independence ?s ?o important when g?tting your ex back ?s th?t wh?n h? checks ?n with ?ou t? ?e? how youre d?ing ?ts vital th?t he sees youre getting on fine without him. He w?nts t? se? that youre d??ng w?ll ?nd happy ?fter th? breakup. If he sees that youre mopy and wallowing ?n ?elf pity he wont b? the l??st bit attracted t? you.

Area 3: Get a Social Life

Your ?x isnt l??king t? rescue ?ou right now ?nd throwing ? pity party for ??urs?lf wont g?t h?m back ?n ?our arms.

If ??ur ex suspects th?t youre sitting al?n? ?n ??ur house pining ov?r h?m you put him ?n ? position ?f strength. While youre st?ll hung up on him, he doesnt n?ed to worry ab?ut h?? greatest fear coming true: ??u moving ?n b?f?re h? does.

The ideal situation for y?ur ?x ?? to k??p the door open. He doesnt want to be your boyfriend ag??n right now, but h? al?? doesnt w?nt to ??e ??u dating s?me?n? el?? either. He w?nt? the door open ?n case he has ? change ?f heart. Is it selfish? Perhaps. But th?t? wh?re youre ?t r?ght now.

Now th?t ??u kn?w this, ?ou need to do the opposite of wh?t ??ur ex expects ?nd turn the tables on him. Instead of sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring, ?ou need t? b? out h?v?ng a good time surrounded by friends ?nd family. When y?ur ?x sees y?u h?v?ng a good time w?thout him, h?? greatest fear will start to surface: th? possibility of losing you to som??n? else.

Theres a good chance th?t ?our ex ?? g?ing t? be jealous bec?u?? he thinks th?t ??u sh?uld ?till b? heartbroken ?ver him. Your boyfriend l?k?d t? th?nk that h? wa? a major part ?f ?our happiness ?nd f?r h?m to see th?t you ?an b? happy with?ut him i? like ? dagger twisting in h?s hear, ??p??iall? ?f hes the ?ne who let ??u go.

Area 4: Stop w?th the Drama

A big turnoff for men when it com?? t? women ?s s?me?n? who ?? constantly surrounded by drama. Men ar? fairly simple wh?n ?t com?? to the?r relationships ?nd when ?t ??me? t? commitment, a low key, easy g??ng relationship wins ?ut ov?r ? highly dramatized ?n? every time.

A woman whos dramatic and high maintenance makes for ? great filing, but not a great girlfriend. So if its ? committed relationship youre after, espe??all? ?f youre tr?ing to g?t back t?geth?r ?ft?r ? breakup, k??p th?? ?n the back of y?ur mind.

Now dont get m? wrong here, if th?r? was ?om? drama ?n y?ur past relationship, that? fine. In ??me cases things crop up th?t make us a l?ttle nuts. Nevertheless, what ??ur guy w?nts i? stability and peace of mind ?n h?? relationship. So ?f you w?nt t? g?t h?m interested in y?u for ? s???nd time, l?t h?m know youre going to k??p th? drama ?nd the water works t? a bare minimum.

Steer clear of high drama situations aft?r ??ur breakup ?nd l?t ?our ?x ??e th?t ??u can function and h?v? a great time without it.

Area 5: Be Happy With Your Life

At th? end of the day, the be?t thing ?ou can d? for your??lf is to b? happy. The happier ??ur ?x thinks ??u ?re w?thout him, th? more lik?ly hes g?ing to w?nt ?ou back.

I kn?w th?? sound counter intuitive right? But w? all w?nt what w? cant h?v? ?nd th? grass ?? alw?ys greener on the other side. What th?? means for ??u ?? th?t your ex will n?v?r want ??u m?r? th?n right ?fter youre gone. Strange but true.

However ?t? imperative for ??u th?t when your ex reflects on ?our relationship t?g?th?r he sees the r?ght things. He needs t? remember the good times ??u had t?gether smiling and laughing and he n?eds t? ?ee ??u d??ng itall w?thout h?m there. You n??d t? be h?v?ng such ? good time w?thout h?m that hell want t? be part ?f it again. The m?re he sees you enjoying life w?thout him, th? more hell scheme t? tr? and g?t back ?nt? your life.



from How to Get Your Ex Back - Make Ex Want You Back http://ift.tt/1wfw0B9

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How Do You Know If Your Ex Will Get Back With You.

Should you be looking for How Do You Know If Your Ex Will Get Back With You. Congratulations. Youre right place. A little Minute!. You try to read the article content below. It may help you.

Needless to say, if things ended up running nicely, shed have believed the (truthful) explanation. A colleague getting overenthusiastic when wed just won a large advertising pitch. It had been hugs and kisses all-round, I think I even kissed my boss, and hes the dad of 4 and built just like a quarterback.

But things hadnt been running nicely. Wed moved in together, and admittedly we were driving each other mad.I love her like crazy, but I just wasnt used to accounting for my actions, minute by minute. That girl loves to text. Every second of the day, where am I, what am I doing, what did I have for supper, would you like steak for lunch - the continual texts made me feel like a prisoner under observation.

But following the fight, I missed them. I missed the almost continuous low "ting" that heralded a note coming in. I missed my phone come to that, and had to go customize the one. Fortunately, my plan allow me to have my old number.

No texts. Not one. So, I made a decision to reverse roles. I sent her texts, nighttime and daytime. "I miss waking up with you." "I heard our song right now and it taught me to be cry." "Are you lonesome tonight?" "My love is like a red, red rose." Every cliche, every romantic memory, every song, every poem,every thing which had meant something to us, I texted it to her.

And not in text language. No - I used fully spelled out, beautifully punctuated English.

Finally, eventually, my phone went "ting". And it was her. "Yes, I do miss you." I texted her straight back, "Im so sorry we fought, I was an idiot." Back she came. "I believe you about the lipstick."

Then it just became an excessive amount of, I dialed her number, and we talked, and then that wasnt enough, so I literally ran to our old place, and she was waiting for me.....

She still texts a lot, but not as much as before. We had a great old fashioned face to face conversation, and I told her how I didnt want to feel she was spying on me. We made a contract to talk more and text less. 4 me its going gr8.

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