The Paradox of Wanting to Be Loved

Written in the first person for a self-responsible experience. Own what fits, throw out the rest. I dont want be too quick to throw out the baby with the bathwater cause then what Ive got is a screaming child and emptiness.

Many of my behaviours set me up to be rejected and unloved by the very people whose acceptance and love I most desire.

If I win, I lose.

This is the inevitable result of the paradox of wanting (actually demanding) to be loved.

This paradox is like the fly on flypaper.

The more I fight it, the more I get stuck.

The more I deny it, the more I cut off my ability to love freely.

As an adult, I pay dearly for my negative identification with my parents -- or other adults whom I feel wronged by.

In effect, I sell my soul in the hopes of being loved.

I answer the question, "Do I have to give up myself in order to be loved?" with a resounding "YES!" -- with the added demand -- "and you BETTER love me back because i have given up my soul for you!!"

In my relationships, I -- without knowing it -- try to recapture Mommys or Daddys, what passed for, "love."

This so-called "love" was probably 80% control and 20% an incompetent attempt to be loving.

I learn that this so-called "love" is what I must do so that:

(a) I believe I am lovable;
(b) You will love me; and
(c) I can show you that love you.

Problem is, it aint love, it just looks that way.

So, I choose partners who manifest the "loving" traits of Mommy or Daddy.

By doing that I choose the path of experiencing feeling unloved.

Feeling a little crazy right now?

Yup! Exactly.

Projecting my parents unconsciously and automatically onto our lovers, authority-figures, clients, bosses, friends, colleagues, or teachers is "ghosting."

By "Ghosting" I recreate my early so-called "loving" (actually, controlling, incompetent loving) family system.

With "ghosting" I create "The Bank Account Relationship."

Ill deposit some love in your bank. I expect it back -- with interest -- when I demand a withdrawal from you.

It goes like this:

"I am being loving.";

"Therefore I am lovable!";

"Because I am lovable, you the must love me back!";

"Then I will be able to love you."

By "ghosting" the horror of the so-called "love" (which is actually 80% control and 20% an incompetent) my relationships go off the rails.

My desired, expected destination was "love." My actual destination is loneliness & isolation. The experience is resistance, conflict, and rejecting or being rejected, heartbreak, and loss.

As an adult I, when I feel unlovable, believe you dont love me, so I wont love you back. In response, I act like frightened 5-year-old who would do almost anything to avoid pain, all-the-while- resisting help. All-the-while denying whats really going on.

Think of the screaming kid in the grocery store having a full-on tantrum as mom or dad helplessly try to reason, or punish the kid into submission.

As an adult I do not really have to withdraw, punish or pretend that the pain of feeling unlovable and unloved does not exist, but when Im drowning in bad feelings resurrected over the so-called "love" thing I feel like Im drowning.

And like the flailing, drowning swimmer who is being rescued, s/he -- in her/his panic -- takes the rescuer down with her or him.

Fact is, a child can drown in a foot of water.

But as an adult if I can get a grip on my self and look at the "reality" of the situation, the water is only up to my ankles. Im right on shore (self-awareness).

Then I can deal with the difficulties of love and relationships (that requires a great deal of courage to activate my self-awareness into behavioural self-management).

Because I am only ankle deep, not drowning, I no longer have to spend my life avoiding the sources of the problems in my life, afraid that facing my pain will hurt too much and hoping that it will somehow just disappear because you love me.

Our families, by modeling that they were incapable of dealing with love, suffering, and other human experiences -- misled me about what is love.

Due to their own childhood programming, my family did not know how to nourish me so I could grow my unique self.

That is no reason for me to do the same to my self and those whom I am attempting to be with.

I can learn to deal with these things -- the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful that life serves up -- should I choose to "grow up" to take the assignment.

I can extract my self from my flypaper attachment to the paradox of wanting to be loved -- with a little help from my friends.

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Dont Let Anyone Make You Feel Guilty

Have you heard statements like "If you love me, you would do this for me." "You should be ashamed of yourself." Or "You hurt my feelings?" Statements like these are used by people to manipulate you into feeling guilty because you did a mistake, disappointed someone, or if some one wants a favor of you.

Dont let someone make you feel guilty. Guilt is a destructive emotion that you waste your time with it if you dont learn how to eliminate guilt for ever. To overcome and eliminate guilt from your life, do the following steps:

1. Know that the past cant be changed. Whatever happened or you have done in the past, you cant undo it or change it by feeling guilty. If you cry, weep, shout mornings and nights, you will not make the past different. It is better to concentrate on the present time and do something useful to enhance and improve your life and your future.

2. Try to learn from your experiences. If you hurt someone while not meaning it, apologize for what you have said or done and then forgive yourself. Learn from what happened in the past, so you wont repeat it again, but it is important to forgive yourself.

3. Let the people you deal with know that you cant be manipulated by what they say and cant make you feel guilty. If your boss gives you a hard time because you didnt work over time and start saying that there is no bonus for you to make you feel guilty, then you can say things like "that is perfectly fine. I will get the bonus next time." Once people see that you are confident of yourself and cant get manipulated by them into feeling guilty, they will know you are in control of your emotions.

To overcome guilt, you have to confront it. Dont deny guilt or run away from it. Analyze it and make amends with it. No matter how much time you spend feeling guilty, you are not going to be able to change it because it has already happened. You can learn from the past, but you cant change it.

Instead of feeling guilty over something that cant be changed, why dont you follow the above steps and then start concentrating on your goals?

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STOP MISSING THEM !

 

IF YOU WANT THEM BACK STOP MISSING THEM !!

I Hear form scores of people , Who are trying to pursue the love of their lives using the law of Attraction. Here is one thing that all of them do wrong. 

They Miss them. 

You have to understand that , missing them constantly , repeatedly paying attention to their absence , is something that keeps them away. because all the universe hears from you is "Absence ! Absence ! Absence ! " So it does what it does best , and gives you more of this ABSENCE . The result , is that your manifestation doesnt happen. 

Yes you have been visualizing , giving gratitude , doing your magic practices , but if after putting all this effort in the right direction , you spend the rest of your day feeling nostalgic , and feeling lonely and bad and sad because you MISS them . It defeats the whole purpose of the Law of attraction. What you are doing is giving mixed vibrations. and so you feel stuck and frustrated. 

 Here is where the concept of Allowing Or Letting Go Comes to play . Yes its true that the more emotion you give while focusing your thoughts on your desire the faster its gonna come to you , but its also true that you cant just go from feeling numb to Feeling unconditional love in a day or even in a week , the feelings will come naturally and gradually , and get stronger and clearer as each day passes. 

What people usually do is that, they will visualize throughout the day, even when they dont feel like it , they will force themselves, because the concept of Work=Rewards is going on in their heads. 

Thats not true when dealing with the universe, you can visualize 5 minutes a day, and still manifest your desires, because its not the amount of time put in or hardships endured that counts , its the quality of your emotion that counts. 

Enough Rants , Lets just keep to the mechanics of how the universe can help you with your ex problem. 

You see , in case of an ex, there are a lot of built up feelings, caused by a bad breakup, and all this time spent away from each other. So first off all you have to understand that all of these feelings are just negative momentum, its like you think about missing them , which leads to thoughts of unworthiness , which leads to thoughts of insecurity , which leads to hopelessness and helplessness , further comes frustration , Anger , jealousy and before you know it you are breathing in a paper bag , because of the full blown panic attack you just had. And so you see how the train of   negative momentum goes , This train is the reason why , whenever you start to think about your ex you feel bad , coz that feeling bad place is where you are with regards to your ex. The negative momentum will give you access to only negative thoughts. So what do you do.. ??

You meditate , clear your head , focus on not thinking or doing the things that cause you pain,that includes not thinking about your ex, letting the thought go  as you do these things you slowly come to a place of numbness , and then if you dont panic with the whole numbness thing , you move on to a place of general happiness , coz the human mind is wired to be Happy by default, its because we hold on to a lot of negative thoughts by thinking about them over and over, the mind travels to the dark side . But as soon as you let go, you go to a place where the mind is unburdened and happy. 

 
Some of you may find this "letting Go" thing a little difficult , as you may relate it to letting go of your ex , coz it may be your belief , that if you stop thinking about your ex , the universe would stop trying . But, Just relax, the first time you expressed your desire for that particular person , the universe said OK and found a way to get you your desire , but it cant yet provide you your desire , coz you are not allowing it , in other simpler words, You are so stuck in your negative momentum,  in a place of telling the universe with your thoughts , "I dont have this !" that , it is all the universe can give you. "Not having it , and thoughts of not having it." 

So in very simple words the step by step program would be:

1. Clear your head (let go of negative, Find a hobby, find happiness in what you have.) 

2. Focus on the feeling of being with them 2 times in a day, once in the morning , and then before going to bed at night. ( before bed is important, visualize , write about it )

3. Clear your Blocks. ( As you move towards your desire , the universe will make you feel bad through a thought on occasion to try and tell you that this thought is the reason i cant give you your desire , you need to think around it , or get rid of it ) (take help of a coach , or a level headed person , or rationalize it yourself) 

4. Allowing . ( Apart from the morning and night focus , throughout the day , distract yourself , dont think about your desire , coz no thought is better than a negative thought. ) 

Lastly , know that you are not rekindling an old relationship , you are in process of creating a new one.. doesnt matter , if its with the same person . its a new relationship that you are creating. 

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Top 20 Olivia Newton John Hits

One of those "kangaroo" ladies who did so well on the charts in the 1970s, Olivia Newton-John was born in Cambridge, England in 1948. Shes the granddaughter of famed Nobel Prize winning German physicist, Max Born. She moved to Australia in 1953.

Olivia began singing at the age of 14 in coffee shops and soon became a regular on local Australia radio and television shows. She entered and won a talent contest with the grand prize being a trip to England. Here, she teamed with another Aussie, Pat Carroll as "Pat And Olivia." When Pats visa expired, sending her back to Australia, Olivia remained in England.

American producer, Don Kirshner, recruited Olivia as part of the group "Toomorrow." A film based on the group turned out to be a bust and the group disbanded.

Even though she had been recording since 1966, Olivia didnt receive her first recognition, until she recorded the Bob Dylan tune, "If Not For You" which made it to #25 on the Billboard weekly charts in 1971. Subsequent singles bombed until 1973 when her country flavored "Let Me Be There" went Top 10.

On the charts, Olivia made it to the weekly Billboard Top 40 Charts 27 times and to the top of the charts five times. This includes duets with Olivia teaming up with John Travolta, Andy Gibb, Electric Light Orchestra and Cliff Richard. Heres a look at Olivia Newton-Johns twenty biggest hits, according to the Billboard Weekly Top 40 charts.

1. Physical - 1981 - Olivias biggest single went to # 1 for 10 weeks, tying Debby Boones record of "You Light Up My Life" and making it the #1 record of 1982. The #6 record of all time, according to Billboards Top 100 records of all time, was censored and banned by some radio stations.

2. Magic - 1980 - one of three songs, from the film Xanadu, that went Top 20 for Olivia.

3. I Honestly Love You - 1974 - written by Jeff Barry and Peter Allen, Olivias first number one single was rerecorded by Olivia in 1998.

4. Youre The One That I Want - 1978 - from the film "Grease", this is one of two singles teaming her up with co-star John Travolta.

5. Have You Never Been Mellow - 1975 - Olivia received a Grammy Nomination for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, thanks to this song.

6. A Little More Love - 1979 - from the "Totally Hot" album, it was the 17th most popular single of 1979.

7. Hopelessly Devoted To You - 1978 - also from the film "Grease", John Farrar penned this song, as he did many of Olivias hits and this one got him an Academy Award nomination for Best Original Song.

8. Heart Attack - 1982 - from the "Olivias Greatest Hits Vol. 2" album.

9. Please Mr. Please - 1975 - originally written for and recorded by Cliff Richard, Olivia had much better luck at requesting that no one play B-17.

10. Twist of Fate - 1984 - Olivias last Top 10 single, to date, was from the film "Two Of A Kind" reteaming Olivia with John Travolta.

11. If You Love Me (Let Me Know) - 1974 - in addition to being a pop hit, it also went to #2 on the Billboard Country charts and was also performed by Elvis Presley at many of his live concerts.

12. Summer Nights - 1978 - the second duet with John Travolta from the film "Grease."

13. Make A Move On Me - 1982 - the follow up single to "Physical."

14. Let Me Be There - 1974 - Olivias first Top 10 single was also covered by Elvis Presley.

15. Xanadu - 1980 - this time Olivia teamed up with the Electric Light Orchestra for the title song of the film of the same name, which also starred Hollywood legend Gene Kelly.

16. Deeper Than The Night - 1979 - from the "Totally Hot" album.

17. I Cant Help It - 1980 - Olivia teamed up with Andy Gibb for this Top 20 single.

18. Something Better To Do - 1975 - from her "Clearly Love" album.

19. Sam - 1977 - from the "Dont Stop Believing" album.

20. Soul Kiss - 1985 - Olivias last Top 20 hit to date.

Olivia had some success acting by starring in the films "Grease" in 1978, "Xanadu" in 1980 and "Two Of A Kind" in 1983. Since then, she has appeared in several television movies, specials and series, including a guest cameo spot on the television series, "Glee" in 2010.

In 1992, Olivia was diagnosed with breast cancer and as a survivor she has become an advocate for breast cancer research, as well as other health issues and animal rights.

She married actor Matt Lattanzi in 1984 and they have a daughter, Chloe. Olivia and Matt divorced in 1995. She married again in 2008.

In 1984, Olivia began her own chain of clothing boutiques called, Koala Blue.

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Relationship Breakup Dont Be Blindsided

Relationship breakup, what are the signs? Are you worried that your relationship is getting ready to crash and burn? Not sure what signs you should be on the lookout for? No one likes to be blindsided. Being blindsided always results in pain whether physical or emotional. Even if your relationship ends, the pain will be a little less if you can see it coming and brace for impact. There are some signs that all may not be well on the home front, if you keep your eyes open.

The first thing you need to remember is that we are usually pretty good at lying to ourselves. We are remarkably adept at keeping the blinders firmly in place if removing them would be to face certain pain. In the long run though you only do more harm than good by ignoring the inevitable. Its best to see things clearly, if you do you may actually have a chance to change the direction your relationship is taking and prevent the breakup.

Here are some signs that you need to keep an eye out for:

1. If you and your partner used to be joined at the hip but all of a sudden they seem to have a lot of more important things to do, you may be headed for a breakup. Of course, dont be a twit and ignore the fact that they just got a promotion and theyre a lot busier at work. If they dont have a reasonable excuse for their sudden absence you may want to sit them down and have a talk with them to try and figure out what is going on.

Make sure that you ask them what the problem is and not accuse them of anything. If you accuse them of something and they are just feeling a little down or overwhelmed you may just give them cause to end the relationship. Be careful to not come off defensively. Stay calm and rational when you talk to them.

2. Does your better half suddenly seem to need a lot of privacy? If their habits change and they become much more private it could be a sign that they are talking to someone and they dont want you to know. If they are suddenly leaving the room to talk on their cell phone, or they are taking their laptop into the other room, you may want to ask them, nicely, whats going on. If they say nothing that might well be your answer since its obvious that their behavior has changed and if they dont have a good reason why it could be that there isnt a good reason. Again, though, give them the benefit of the doubt. Youd look awfully stupid if you accused them of something when all they were doing was planning a great anniversary trip or surprise birthday party.

3. Sex, do you still have it as often as you once did? Is there a change in who initiates it? If your partner used to always want sex and suddenly they just dont seem interested, it could be a sign that they have found someone else. Of course, it could also be a sign that theyre tired, overwhelmed, depressed, etc. Dont jump to conclusions, just ask.

Many times the signs of a relationship breakup are pretty easy to spot, as long as youre not so afraid to see them that you ignore them. By spotting them early youve got a much better shot at dealing with whatever the issues are before the actual breakup. You might just be able to save your relationship by keeping your eyes wide open.

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DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE !!!

The Impossible tasks ! 

What is Impossible? , You can tell me that the meaning lies in the word itself, some of the more positive people tell me that it is just a way to say, I AM POSSIBLE. I don’t really understand what that means…I mean yes I exist, ergo I am not just a possibility, but I am a truth, which you and everyone else on this planet will have to live with hopefully for the next 40 more years.

But then what is Impossible, and by extension, what is an impossible task? A impossible situation. I ll go ahead and explore what it means for an average person. It’s a place of No hope, or to put it in a more “non-depressing” way, it’s a task you have no idea how to accomplish, and even if you have an idea on how to do it, you are right now not in a state to implement that idea. To put it more simply, you don’t know how to get ‘there’ from ‘here’. You don’t know the path, or the path you know, you are in no position to walk on right now.


I ll take 2 examples, of impossible tasks, see if any one of it is applicable to you. 

1. Buying a House.

2. Getting back an Ex/Making a crush fall for you/ changing someone’s attitude. 


So you want to buy a house. So your mind says, its fairly simply, Make the money and then 
buy the house. Then you ask your mind, how do I make so much money. And the answer is usually, ‘Someday’. Till then I think you should rent. 

When it comes to changing someone’s mind about you, your mind is like, ‘lets keep trying’ , maybe we can wear them down by our nagging or persistence. And when the other person goes and blocks your number and phone, your mind is like “we tried our best, maybe it was not worth it, just sit and mope, complain occasionally, ‘Someday’ it will all change, wait till then, at least they will call you brave to put up with all this.”

So what happened in both the cases? In both cases your mind didn’t know how to get ‘there’, it tried all that it could, and when it didn’t work, your mind declared that there is no other way, and to conserve energy it made this problem a problem for your ‘future self’.

So then are we doomed to not buy that house, when we need it, or not be in a relationship of our choice. Not have the love and appreciation that we deserve?
No, we are forgetting something very important. Focus, and Desire. We usually don’t pay attention to the ‘thinking’ part, when all our problems lie in this physical world.

What if I tell you today, that the world doesn’t work the way you come to believe. We live in a world where we expect results to every action. And so happiness and relief is a ‘result’ for us, Result of an action that you take in the physical reality. How many times you would have caught yourself saying. 

“if only I could have that one thing, I would be that happiest person on the planet.”
This approach, this perspective about life leads us to the whole concept of Impossible.
Happiness and Bliss and relief are not ‘Results’, these are ‘Actions’ and such strong actions that they can actually open up, and show you a way towards an impossible situation.

The human brain is a stupid thing, it always assumes that it knows all there is to know about a situation, and so when find yourself in a place where you have to make a decision, your brain just assumes that it knows all possible ways, and that there is no other
way. But you and i both know from experience that, if we cant see a way, that doesnt mean that it doesnt exists.

So even if you don’t know the how of having that new house right now, don’t worry, don’t even put off your dream, because the ‘way’ in which you can have that house, that relationship, that dream come true, Right now,Exists ! You just don’t see it yet, and to see it, to see this path, this new way, light up in front of you, you have to just move a little towards your impossible goal, and how do you do that? You focus on having it right now, and you feel how it would feel to be in that perfect world where you have what you want. You discuss why you want it? How is it going to make you feel, you get excited about it. That is how you move towards it. And the best part, you don’t even have to do it all day. Writing or visualizing about your perfect resolution, 5 minutes every day before bed, and then not worrying about it all day is all it takes for you to see the new path light in front of you.


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Be a lamp or a lifeboat or a ladder

This line isnt just a lesson in moral science; it has endless wisdom wrapped in it. 

Law of attraction teaches us to be selfish, which is a very good thing. We start to think about ourselves. We start to pay attention to what we really want. We start making list after list of things that we would like to have in our reality. And all seems to be working out just fine. But then, one day we realize that although on technical level, Universe is working just fine, but still there are those top three desires on most people’s lists which don’t seem to be coming to pass.

And no matter how hard they try, visualization and everything, matters only seem to be getting worse. They know that they have to ‘let go’. But most do not know how. 

To those stuck at this level, I would suggest to listen to the wisdom of Rumi. When nothing seem to be working to distract you from your current predicament, try giving. Nothing works better than the joy of giving someone else the happiness that they had been looking for. Remembering, that we are all connected and that we are all one, also helps. Anything that we do for others is bound to come back to us, and that include all the good things. What we receive in our reality is always a reflection of what we give. 

So, go ahead and try this, help someone, do something to make someone feel good. Not only will it help to distract you from your current situation and thus help you to ‘let go’, but it will also bring more good things to you.

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Rearranging The Deck Chairs on the Titanic

Ahhh, the memorable quotes and statements said in business meetings, VC pitches and executive presentations around the world. Weve all played buzzword bingo before, noting the buzzword du jour (often "du heure") like synergy, coopetition and incent. In my many years as a consultant, employee and executive, Ive collected a number of buzzphrases that Ive actually heard in meetings. Call these phrases, metaphors, whatever - many are silly, laughable but they are almost all evocative - conveying a memorable feeling that regular descriptive words cant even approach. A big part of successful business is communication and certain words can convey a powerful effect. Take a few of these for a spin in your next meeting. If you have heard of any interesting ones, please comment. Wed love to hear more!

Expressing Futility
When things arent looking so good, here are a few ways to say, things suck.

"Rearranging deck chairs on the titanic" as in "Putting more money into marketing at this point is like rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic"

"Trying to stay on a greased pole" as in "Trying to set up a meeting with him is like trying to stay on a greased pole"

"Two bald guys fighting over a comb" as in "Competing for this small partnership is like two bald guys fighting over a comb"

"Train wreck" as in "If we dont get this project dependencies taken care of, were headed for a train wreck"

"Spray and pray marketing" as in "Buying this generic marketing list is spray and pray marketing".

"Two drunks propping each other up" as in "This partnership with this other 2nd rate startup is like two drunks propping each other up".

"Mouse nuts" as in "This SMB deal really amounts to no more than mouse nuts"

"Death march" as in "This major architectural release just 2 months from now is going to be a death march for our developers."

Taking one for the team
"Death by a 1000 cuts" as in "All of these product requests and support questions from this prospect is like death by a 1000 cuts."

"Designated spear catcher" as in "Yeah, Ill go fly out tonight to do the presentation - Ill be the designated spear catcher."

"He holds the pen, and well move the paper" as in "Weve bent over backwards to all her requests. She just needs to hold the pen, and well move the paper."

"Fall on your own sword" as in "His aggressive push ruffled a lot of feathers - he basically fell on his own sword."

Putting it in Perspective
"Tying two rocks together" as in "Merging with this company is like tying two rocks together to see if it floats."

"Tallest midget" as in "Hey claiming your the proven market leader in this industry is like saying you are the tallest midget"

Its So Easy
"Shooting fish in a barrel" - as in "These leads coming in from the web are like shooting fish in a barrel"

"Barney deals" as in "This non-revenue generating partnership is basically a Barney deal" (in homage to the purple dinosaur who exclaims I love you, you love me.)

Look on the Bright Side
"Turning lemons into lemonade" as in "Team, we need to turn lemons into lemonade by renaming this bug into a feature." Converted from the non-business version (lets turn that frown upside down)

"Futures bright, better wear shades" as in "This new product is going to outsell our flagship - futures bright, better wear shades."

"Good problem to have" as in "We just signed our 100th customer and we only have one technical support person. This is a good problem to have."

Perseverence
"We can no longer wait for the storm to pass - we must learn to work in the rain" as in "We can no longer wait for the storm to pass, we must learn to work in the rain"

"Hitting singles before hitting the home run" as in "Work with these smaller industry analysts first then talk to Gartner - hit a few singles before hitting the home run."

"Roll up the sleeves" as in "Even though Im an executive, I can totally write this datasheet - Im a roll up the sleeves type of gal."

"Hit the ground running" as in "She worked for our competitor before we poached her so she can hit the ground running."

Politics
"Calling his baby ugly" as in "It wouldnt be good to criticize the CEOs skunkworks project - its like calling his baby ugly."

"Getting thrown under the bus" as in "Hey, I dont mean to throw Bob under the bus, but I also think he needs to improve his communication style too." or "Well, if were all throwing Bob under the bus, he also needs to take a shower once in a while."

"Too many chefs in the kitchen" as in "Your input on this advertising campaign is most appreciated, but we have too many chefs in the kitchen right now."

"Airplane test" as in "Bills a cool guy, hed pass the airplane test" (youd sit next to the guy on an airplane ride)

"Hill to die on" as in "While I totally disagree with this approach, this is not the hill I want to die on. Ill pick my battles elsewhere."

"Wearing his wig on backwards" as in "Did you see Joe this morning, he looks like he woke up with his wig on backwards"

"One legged man" as in "Since the restructuring hes as busy as a one legged man in an *ss kicking contest."

Finding Opportunity
"Shake some trees and see what falls down" as in "You should go to that conference and shake some trees adn see what falls down".

"Getting invited to the dance - and changing the music" as in "When I was hired, we were a consumer company, and now were a business to business company - its like getting invited to the dance adn then changing the music."

"Low hanging fruit" as in "Even though these are kind of low priority, these are quick wins. Grab the low hanging fruit first." Often noted in slides as LHG.

"Throwing spaghetti on the wall to see what sticks" as in "Weve got 10 marketing messages, lets throw the spaghetti on the wall and see what sticks."

"Kissing dogs" as in "This deal looks a lot better than a lot of the dogs Ive been kissing lately"

In the Know
"Pull them over the fence" as in "I think its time to pull HR over the fence on this acquisition since were going to have to lay off half the staff"

"Secret sauce" as in "This search engine ranking technology based on link popularity is our secret sauce"

Judging a book by its cover
"Lipstick on a pig" as in "This product is really subpar - you can put lipstick on the pig but you cant get it to dance"

"Ghost of authority" as in "The founder is really a ghost of authority - its the CEO you have to talk to."

"Cockroaches behind the wallpaper" as in "I did the due diligence on this merger and found a lot of cockroaches behind the wallpaper."

"Window dressing" as in "Yeah, I know this advisory board is window dressing but it helps us look like a bigger company"

Sales 101
"Bit twiddlers" as in "Are you talking to the business unit decision makers or the technical bit twiddlers"

"Great meeting sex" as in "Its nice you met with them again, but until you close the deal its just great meeting sex."

"Column fodder" as in "The RFP looks like our competitors datasheet - were just column fodder in this deal"

"Feet on the street" as in "Were getting into these regional deals because weve got feet on the street"

"x-legged deals" as in "Youre bringing a sales engineer, engineer and executive with you? These 8-legged deals are expensive"

"Selling ice to eskimos" as in "This sales guy is the best ever - he could sell ice to eskimos"

"Kitted up" as in "I need to go back to headquarters to get "kitted up" (i.e. pick up some datasheets, tchotkes, swag, etc.)

"Going sideways" as in "Hes not returning your phone calls? Im worried this deal is going sideways."

Marketing 101
"Show business" as in "We need this ad campaign. Theres no business without show business."

"Markitecture" as in "The datasheet needs a markitecture diagram that the business and technical person can understand."

"The mommy test" as in "The marketing message needs to pass the mom test."

"Buying holes" as in "Focus on the benefits - people dont go to the hardware store to buy drills, they go there to buy the hole."

"Upper right corner" as in "We need a strategy that is going to put us in the upper right hand corner" (in homage to the Gartner quadrant.)

"Carpet bomb" as in "This launch is going to carpet bomb our verticals"

"Heavy gorilla" as in "MSFT is the 800 pound gorilla"

"Shiny Objects" as in "Put in a good SPIF on this new product - the sales team will say shiny objects and sell em"

"Coin-operated" as in "This generous commission structure will sell these services well - the sales people are all coin operated."

"Tip of the spear" as in "We appreciate the efforts of our sales organization. You are the tip of our spear."

"Land and expand" as in "This free download is a great way to land and expand into an account."

Just Do It
"Bow on this topic" as in "Okay, I think weve put a bow on this topic for now - whats the next agenda item?"

"If you have to kill the problem, dont dent it" as in "This webinar is how were responding to our competitor? If you have to kill the problem, dont dent it."

"Letting the grass grow under your feet" as in "We got a lot of next steps before the next trade show - dont let the grass grow under your feet."

Whats Done is Done
"You cant unring a bell" as in "You gave them that price proposal? Well, you cant unring a bell"

"Zigged instead of zagged" as in "Focusing on the technical champion was a bad idea - I zigged when I should have zagged."

"Pottery barn rule - you break it, you own it" as in "The partnership is starting to fall apart. You know the pottery barn rule."

"Pull back the horns" as in "The hard sell approach was good for a while but you need to pull back the horns a bit and let them figure out their requirements."

Competition
"Slowing the train that has left the station" as in "Sending this competitive comparison document is okay, but youre trying to slow a train that has already left the station

"Trophy isnt big enough" as in "There are a lot of mom and pops out there, but the trophy isnt big enough for us to be in the market

Tough Spot
"Sitting in the soup kettle" as in "After the latest quarter, hes sitting in a soup kettle and not enjoying it very much"

"Wobbling wheels on the cart" as in "Hes going to push that project hard - the wheels are beginning to wobble on the cart a bit but itll get done fast."

"Trim the fat" as in "Weve done some serious overhiring - were going to need to trim the organizational fat over the next quarter."

"Porcupines" as in "You have to approach this deal like two porcupines making love - very carefully"

Understanding
"Arms around the ball" as in "Ive been really busy that I havent yet been able to get my arms around the ball yet"

"Doubleclick" as in "Wait, can you "double click" on that point in the slide"

"Sniff test" as in "I looked at their technology, they didnt pass the sniff test."

Priorities
"Top order bits" as in "Hold on a second, give me the top order bits first"

"Boiling the ocean" as in "Taking on IBM and Microsoft? I think you might be boiling the ocean here."

"Wood behind the arrow" as in "Is this ROI calculator something I shoudl put all my wood behind the arrow?"

Success
"Wind in the sails" as in "This good product review gives us some good wind in our sails."

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MEDITATION FOR BEGINNERS

A FEW MEDITATION TECHNIQUES FOR THE NEWBIES ! 

First of all let me just make it clear that Meditation plays a huge role in the process of LOA , as it helps to bring your mind from the place of Negativity to The Neutral Zone , and sometimes even leads us to the positive zone. its an important tool to clear our minds of all the negativity we have collected over time. For people new to meditation , its a little hard at first to clear their mind as random thoughts keep popping up. Here are a few things that worked for me , when i was a newbie.

1. First of all , early morning or before bed , are by my experience the best times to meditate , But if for some reason you cant be free at these times , then anytime of the day will do. just try to keep aside 15 - 30 minutes undisturbed.

2. Loose that jeans ! get into something soft , loose fitting and comfortable , we want you to concentrate on you thoughts not the itches and scratches that comes with tight clothes.

3. Try finding a place that is not too hot or too cold , neither it should be so uncomfortable , that your bottom starts to hurt , nor so comfortable , that you lie down and drift off to sleep. The best place would be somewhere where you can get fresh natural air , the terrace , the park , the garden maybe . The Oxygen in that fresh air , really gets you going. and Yes , you can get HIGH on oxygen !

4. For those who are new to meditation , focusing on your breath does the job , you can feel the cool air going in and the warm air coming out of your nostrils , you can follow the flow of air all through to your lungs , or you can just just focus on the opening of your nostrils , and feel your breath.

5. to keep the mind from wandering , you can count your breath , 1 on in and 2 on out , again 1 on In and 2 on out . or you can mentally say IN as you draw air in or OUT as you release air out.

6. One of my personal favorites is saying the word OM while drawing in a long and deep breath. You can say OMMMMMMMMM out loud or in you mind either way it will work , and boy does it raises your Vibration !!

7. Try to force your face into a smile , the bigger the better , Forcing it holding it there is surely going to raise your vibration , and you will come out of the Meditation , Grinning and Happy.

You can now proceed with any of our previously suggested processes for making the universe do your bidding.

The QUICK MANIFESTATION DRILL -
 

This quick and easy exercise is for those times when you are feeling particularly enthusiastic and want to create something just for the fun of it. This is also for the newbies who wish to experiment and make sure that this stuff works. You can also use this to let go of something you really wish would come to you. Heres the drill, and its fun too, so enjoy

1. Find a quiet place where you wont be disturbed for 15-20 minutes.

2. Sit down comfortably, (you can also lie down), close you eyes and start taking deep but gentle breaths.

3. Keep you gentle focus on your breathing until your mind starts to calm.

4. Now, with your eyes closed, imagine yourself sitting in garden, and try to feel the details of your favorite garden; freshness in the air, warmth of sunshine on your face.

5. Imagine that there is a big bubble of pink color floating just above your head. Whatever wish you put in this bubble will come true.

6. Now as your eyes are still close, imagine your desire. Make the image as vivid as possible, imagine every little detail, the feel of its touch, its smell, and most importantly, the happiness inside you that this desire of yours will give you.

7. After its starts to feel real, put the object of your desire in the pink bubble thats floating just above your head. Trust that as soon as you put it there, your order with the universe is placed.

Imagine that pink bubble float away up in the sky. Keep tracking it till its no longer visible.

Universe has now started working on your desire, Feel the gratitude, as your wishes are being granted very soon.

You can now open your eyes, and do whatever is most fun for you.

Its OK if at first , you cant hold on to your focus , if any wandering thought comes to mind just acknowledge it and push it away gently. Its an achievement if you can hold your focus for 5 minutes only , with practice you can increase your timing and focus , and have a greater clarity and Focusing Ability.

Happy manifesting

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I Wanna Be the Guy The Mugen Fan Game

There’s only one platformer game as challenging as Meat Boy and the name is I Wanna Be the Guy. The simple mention of the name is capable of leading grown men to tears – that’s just how hard that game is.

And now we have I Wanna Be the Guy: The Mugen Fan Game, a long title which may be somewhat deceiving. Those expecting a platformer will be disappointed, and those betting on a fighting game are correct, since the Mugen engine is used for fighting games, such Mortal Kombat, Dragon Ball or even Street Fighter Legends.

The bosses we will encounter in this freeware action game are taken from the original I Wanna Be the Guy platformer. Players have to shoot the enemy as much as they can, while taking a look at the special powers available and always dodging the incoming attacks. A clever spin-off of a great game.

Free Full PC Game Download (362 MB):
Download PC Game

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